I Will Write for You

I can write your texts, large or small.

This is what I do.  I write behind the scenes for regular people who need to speak but can’t write. I write correspondence, articles, speeches, and catalogs.  I’m a ghostwriter but, unlike ghosts, I’m always around to help you. Sure I’ve written hundreds of press releases for companies, in addition to scripts, speeches, and MI catalogs.

For the moment, however, I’d like to show you my Kijiji ad. They sure know how to bury an advertisement. And they don’t have a category for writers so I’m lumped into SERVICES > OTHER > OTTAWA. Truth is I travel anywhere where somebody’s got a problem and needs help. I sound like Henry Fonda in Grapes of Wrath: “wherever there’s a man who……” It’s true, though.  I enjoy writing for the everyman….or every woman……. Their thoughts, correspondence, and their memoirs.

 

I will write what you mean to say but can’t put into words. I will ghostwrite for you.

T Bruce, ghostwriter for everyman T Bruce will write what you mean to say….and would have said were you not stress, tongue-tied

We’re talking letters/texts that are originals, custom-written to reflect your situation, for a base rate of $150, all-in. More often than not, that rate is all you pay.

 

Why do I ghost letters and texts for you at bare bones rates?

I know your frustration. You’re not a natural writer. You’ve got a message in there busting to get out—could be to a potential loved one, a boss, an ex-spouse, a doctor, a lawyer, car dealer, or maybe your entire community. I can help because I am a natural writer—a professional writer published internationally for over 40-years. Each year along the way I’ve found time, and satisfaction, helping people translate their feelings into words. No topic is off-limits. Basically, I ghostwrite letters for people who can’t afford ghostwriters.

 

Does the following scenario reflect your situation?

You’re beginning to sweat. You’ve been pounding at your keyboard for a couple of hours. The more you fret about writing, the more tongue-tied you get. When you finally string together a few sentences, they don’t flow smoothly. The words that tumble out don’t sound like anything you would say in waking life. You begin to lose your temper, your passion, and you wonder if you should forget the whole thing! The tragedy is that if you trash it now, you dash your hopes forever.

I will help you get your message out there. I need to meet you, to empathize, to really understand your concerns, and to get a good grasp of your personality and delivery style. In other words, I interview you. Then I go away and return with a letter you’ll feel comfortable signing.

Usually I can set things right in a page or two.

I’m not blowing smoke. It comes easy to me because I’ve done this forever—interviewed people in high, and low, places—from members of the Rolling Stones in New York to auto mechanics in Vanier. Providing we get together, engender a rapport, and I get what I need, I can write for you—in the way you would have written were you not so stressed-out and lost for words. It’s called ghostwriting but lets’ be clear: When we’re said and done, no one will know I wrote for you. My lips are sealed forever.

You might feel a little awkward or shy approaching me. Maybe I’m going to think you or your concerns are trivial. No way. First off, I don’t judge. Secondly, if it’s keeping you awake at night, it’s affecting your health. That’s not trivial. Furthermore I don’t care if English is your first language or a distant third. What’s important is that we communicate. We will. The deal is this: You provide the substance and I’ll take care of the form.

I can’t name names

I can’t provide you testimonials and betray confidences. As a ghost writer I’m supposed to be invisible. Let’s just say that in one instance I wrote a love letter on behalf of a guy who was so frantic, so nuts about a woman, he made me nervous! I got him to calm down, discovered how deeply he felt for this person. It touched me. I wrote a letter to her. If memory serves, I got him to write by hand and avoid cute Windows fonts. Six months later they were married.

In another case, a woman received a letter from her employer stating she was dismissed forcause. This means she messed up her duties so badly that the employer was justified in firing her. That’s a daunting example of the other party gaining the upper hand. Nevertheless, I read her termination letter several times, talked to her at length, and did a little research, made a few calls. I began to detect an odor—the stink of a disguised disciplinary dismissal. I followed my gut feeling and wrote her a letter to sign—one that gave the employer pause. Then I drafted the sort of correspondence a friendly employment lawyer would, and did, sign willingly. Don’t believe it when people slag lawyers. An appropriate lawyer is always the best bet but legal bills can run into the thousands. The meter starts running at about $300. Fortunately, I’d done the ground work and the lawyer took my words and ran with them, adjusting them as only a lawyer can do. Long story short, the woman won a settlement of $5,500. Do the math: The lawyer invoiced $700. The ex-employee took home $4,500. I was happy that justice was done. I was persistent, prepared…and lucky!

A few months later, I was glad to be working as a copy writer for the music industry (mostly in NY and LA), writing hundreds of press releases, artist bios/promo, musical instrument catalogs, magazine interviews and editorials—and along the way a few scripts for short films. When the music industry went into recession, I ground to a halt, meaning my cash flow stopped and I’m now free to do what I’ve been doing all along, year in, year out: writing for you.

Who are you? Online dating

Don’t feel awkward here. I know the drill. You have to write an online profile balancing truth with desirability. Writing about yourself is like cutting your own hair. It’s easy to twist yourself out of shape and end up with results that are less than flattering. For one client (quite recent, as it turns out), I was able to write a description that didn’t sound like a cut & paste from the Oxford Dictionary and Dear Abby. Incidentally, I happened upon the client’s photos. They weren’t Polaroids but contemporary digital shots. Unfortunately, the auto-focus focused on a tree branch and not her face. I shot alternate poses with pro gear gratis. They made her online presentation clean and credible.

 

What cost, satisfaction?

I know what ghost writers charge in big American cities. I’ve done the deed. I can’t charge those rates around here—it’s not right and it’s not fair. That’s why I start at $150 and, more often than not, end there. I don’t mean to be bold but I think you’d Google ’til you’re blue in the face until you find someone who comes close to me in terms of writing quality, breadth of experience, and modest rates.

 

Bigger jobs

I can write your memoirs but it’ll cost you. Not as much as some writers charge, to be sure, but closer to market rates. Similarly, I’ve written speeches. If you want one done properly and with more than a nod to your target audience, contact me.

Don’t ask me to do your university papers

I don’t want to write them. Nor your dissertations, theses, exegesis, articles for scholarly journals, etc. When I was coming up, I did my own. Now it’s your turn.

Or anything illegal

I don’t fancy doing anything illegal but I am well aware that ghost writing is inherently borderline.

Let’s just say that if you pitch me an interesting project that’s not blatantly contrary to law or community standards I’ll consider it.

 

What I love doing

I think I’ve explained this adequately: Ghostwriting for the Common Man/Woman. You’ll be at ease with me. I’ll understand you because I’m a common man. And odds are I’ve been there.

We should talk. My name is Bruce:

tbrucewittet@gmail.com

613-797-7214 (please try to schedule your calls between ten in the morning and 2:00 am. Leave a message and if it’s crazy urgent, do tell me.

Footnote. I’m told I’m one of the best music industry copy writers; I write catalogs, press releases, web copy, print copy, artist bios, scripts, speeches. I don’t charge what the “big guys” charge.

Whether it’s a love letter or a music industry press release, I ensure it rings true and projects the message in your voice–or your company’s voice!

tbrucewittet@gmail.com